Adding toys to your solo or couples play can be a great way to spice up your life. However, it’s important to know how to approach this topic with your partner.
It’s all about open sexual communication and making sex a priority. Toys are a fun and easy way to do that.
1. Toys are a great way to break the monotony
Adding toys to a couple’s sexual experience can break the monotony and routine that often occurs over time in long-term relationships. Toys provide a variety of sensations and textures, and can introduce a element of mystery, anticipation, and excitement to intimate moments. They can also help couples explore new forms of pleasure, and find out what feels good for them.
Couples’ sex toys are available in many different shapes, sizes, and designs, and can provide a range of stimulation from internal to external. However, it’s important to remember that introducing toys into a relationship requires open communication and mutual consent. This ensures that both partners are comfortable and safe during intimate play with a sex toy. In addition, it’s vital that couples use toys made of body-safe materials to avoid harmful substances like phthalates and BPA that can cause irritation, inflammation, and other health problems.
It’s important to be familiar with the various types of sex toys before broaching the subject with your partner, and to have an idea of what you both hope to achieve from the experience. This will help narrow down your options, and prevent you from spending hours trying to figure out which vibrator is best for you, only to realize that you’re not ready to take on a hard-core dildo. Similarly, if you’re new to using toys, it’s important to start small and work your way up to more challenging toys.
2. They’re a great way to express your desire
Whether you’re gay, straight, bisexual, non-binary, a lesbian, or transgender, toys are an incredibly powerful tool that can help you express your sexual desires. Some people use sex toys to boost orgasm during masturbation; others find them helpful during intercourse or toy play with their partners.
You can choose toys that stimulate specific erogenous zones. For example, if your G-spot needs some extra stimulation, try a clitoral suction vibrator, also known as an oral sex stimulator, or “a sucker.” They have wide mouths that surround the clitoris and pulse tiny waves of air to evoke the sensation of suction. They can also be used on other parts of the body, such as nipples or penis heads.
The same goes for many other kinds of toys: You can choose from toys with soft, velvety lips or tongues, and ones that vibrate and throb with every stroke. For some people, these toys can even feel like a massage.
Remember, you should never share sex toys and must always wash them thoroughly after each use. Failure to do so can lead to the spread of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or blood-borne diseases like bacterial vaginosis. Always read the manufacturer’s advice about cleaning and storage of your sex toy. Some may require a special solution or can only be cleaned with boiling water.
3. They’re a great way to stimulate your partner
It’s no secret that a little pleasure enhancer can make intercourse a whole lot more exciting. But toys aren’t just for solo play; they can also help you and your partner get intimate in ways that you couldn’t have imagined. Toys can be used for a variety of purposes in a couple, including sexual foreplay, or even during oral sex (just be sure to choose a safe toy designed specifically for this purpose). There’s also a whole market of toys that are meant to be shared, and can aid in playful role reversals that are often based on stereotyped gender roles.
Talking to your partner about using toys with them can be a bit awkward, but it’s important not to make it a big deal. If you bring it up, simply say that you’re curious about experimenting with new tools in the bedroom, and would love for them to join you. You can try sexy foreplay like mutual masturbation to ease into the topic, or even just show them how you use your own sex toy, and ask if they want to give it a go with you.
Just be sure to never mention sex toys in a way that criticizes or belittles your partner, as this can play right into their underlying fears about you needing something other than them to reach climax. And don’t forget to have fun; exploring a new realm of sexual pleasure together can be a really bonding experience.
4. They’re a great way to get intimate
Despite living in a more sexually progressive society, there’s still a lot of stigma around using toys with your partner. It can come from the belief that vaginal toys are a sign of intimacy problems, or that they’re just for lonely women. But the truth is that they’re an excellent way to expand your pleasure beyond penetration. Sensation play with toys like the oh-so-tempting Pure Wand ($150, Lovehoney) or warm Doc Johnson iWand ($64, Amazon) can bring a whole new level of intensity to your intimacy. And there are plenty of other toys on the market that can explore your senses in different ways, including the Rocks Off Luv Massager ($120, Dame) which is perfect for shower play and can be used on all your erogenous zones.
Bringing toys into the bedroom can also help with communication. When you use a toy with your partner, it creates a space for open discussion of how you feel during and after sexual encounters. That’s a great way to keep your connection alive and can lead to increased orgasms and more satisfaction in the long run.
So if you and your partner aren’t yet comfortable using toys in the bedroom, take your time. It’s best to wait until you’ve established a healthy level of communication and trust between you, both inside the bedroom and outside of it. Then, simply introduce them as a fun and exciting way to enhance your pleasure, not a replacement for your vibe.