A vibrator can be an arousing and intimate addition to any sexual experience. But for many women, learning how to use a vibrator can be intimidating.
Don’t worry — there’s no right or wrong way to use a vibrator. Just follow these tips from sex experts: 1. Start slow.
1. Turn it on
A vibrator is a hand-held device that creates vibrations at the push of a button (or in some cases, several buttons). When applied to areas around or inside the vulva, it can increase sensation and arousal and even lead to quicker or more intense orgasms.
While it may seem intimidating to try out a new sex toy, the good news is that there’s no right or wrong way to use one. In fact, the more you experiment and communicate with your partner, the more you’ll likely find that you both enjoy the sensations of using a vibrator.
For example, a small vibrator can be used to stimulate the clitoris, the G-spot—the sensitive area under the head of the penis known as the frenulum—or the nipples. And a light massage of the vulva increases blood flow and can feel really good, Schreck tells POPSUGAR.
Just make sure to always apply lube, because it can enhance pleasure. Plus, “the mind associates wetness with arousal,” Fleming says.
2. Turn it off
Whether you use it alone or with a partner, a vibrator can add a whole lot of pleasure to your life. But sex toys can be intimidating, and knowing how to use one can help you get the most out of it.
There are many types of vibrators, and each has its own way of working. For instance, a rabbit vibrator has elements that provide internal stimulation but is designed primarily for external penetrative stimulation, while a wand-style vibrator is a clitoral stimulator that can also be used on other erogenous zones, like your neck or butt.
Masturbation is linked to orgasm in a few ways, including that people who regularly masturbate experience more orgasms during partnered sex than those who don’t. That’s why sex educators and therapists have long recommended the use of vibrators to enhance masturbation.
When you’re finished using a vibe, make sure it’s completely turned off by pressing both buttons at the same time and holding them for two seconds until the indicator light turns green. Then, store it in a case or drawer somewhere safe to keep it clean and ready for its next use.
3. Place it on your partner’s body
The beauty of vibrators is that they can be used alone or with a partner. “It’s a great way to introduce erogenous zones, especially if you’re both new to them,” says Fleming. “Just remember that sex toys are personal and what feels good to one person may feel completely different to another.”
The most common way to use a vibrator with a partner is a clitocentric technique called “doggy” or “touchy.” In this method, your partner places the vibe in their mouth, then gently touches you, using it to stimulate the clitoris. The sensation can get hot and juicy pretty quickly, but it’s best if both partners are relaxed and comfortable with the sensation.
Vibrators can also be used to give foreplay a little extra oomph or even to enhance missionary intercourse. If you’re going the latter route, try placing the vibrator on your nipples, balls, or a sensitive area of the penis called the frenulum (the ridge of tissue that connects the foreskin to the head of the penis). The frenulum is super sensitive and the slightest touch can trigger a big reaction.
4. Change the settings
It may seem obvious, but it’s important to read the instructions for your vibe before you start using it. Not only does this ensure that you understand how to operate your new toy, but it also helps prevent any surprises down the road (like accidentally ramping up the intensity to a level your partner didn’t want).
If there are multiple settings, make sure you adjust them all in the same way. This will help ensure consistency, which can increase orgasms.
Finally, lube can make your toy feel more comfortable—and add extra pleasure. If you’re unsure how much lube to use, start with a small amount and gradually increase it.
Vibrators are an awesome addition to any sex routine, but they’re not always easy to use, especially if you’re a beginner. Follow our tips and you’ll be well on your way to orgasm-town in no time. Just remember to take it slow and always check in with your partner to be safe! Happy stroking! And don’t forget to clean that thing on the reg. STIs can spread through unsanitary toys.
5. Clean it
There’s a lot of advice floating around about cleaning sex toys. Some of it is helpful, some of it is inadvisable, and some of it may even be dangerous. A good rule of thumb is to always clean a vibe before and after each use.
This is especially important if you share your toy. Pathogens such as fecal bacteria (typically E. coli) can be passed from the anus to the urethra during vaginal penetration, which can lead to UTIs, bacterial infections, and other painful vaginal symptoms.
You can sanitize your vibrator by washing it with antibacterial soap and warm water. However, it’s important to know what type of material your toy is made of before you do this. Porous materials like rubber, some plastics, jelly, and PVC hold bacteria much more than non-porous materials do. Therefore, they’re more difficult to clean. Non-porous materials like glass and metal, on the other hand, can be easily washed and sterilized. It’s also important to properly store your sex toys. Keeping them loose in a drawer is likely to cause them to pick up dirt, crumbs, hairs, and skin flakes that they can’t shake off.
